How is it our 4 year old twin girls can open their eyes from what appears to be a deep sleep only to jump out of bed and launch themselves into their day within seconds of their eye lids lifting and I can’t? Oh yes, I know how, they had a great night’s sleep and I didn’t!

Well of course they would glued to me or Daddy with their feet wedged between our legs! If I dare move one of our dear daughter’s across the bed to grab just a little more space then just like a magnet she is back glued to me and what’s more she’s still asleep! I might attempt to go to the other end of the bed to grab me some shoulder room and soon as I have just about fallen into slumber I hear those words “Mum!” and she joins me at the other end of the bed.

The sleep deprivation began the moment our Twins were born with the relentless feeding schedule affording if lucky about 40 minutes of snooze time between night feeds and then not always being able to put babies down instead napping with one lying on a chest or one either side in the crook of an arm. This type of sleep isn’t true restful sleep it’s barely asleep consciously aware that you have a small being or two still attached to your body!

We soon become accustomed to sleep being very much a thing of the past but to say it didn’t hit hard would be a whopping great lie.  It’s hard to tell the difference between day and night during those first few weeks unless of course you already have other children to remind you that it is in fact day time and in between looking after the new little milk guzzlers you need to feed, generally care for and play with the rest of the family.

Having the first set of twins meant there were less surprises when the second set arrived but add them into a family equation where 5 year old twins already existed and liked to sneak into our bed of a night and our chances of sleep were only ever going to get worse!

We lived in hope that the relentless night feeding schedules would soon pass but unfortunately not all babies perform as per some manual or smug parent who delights in telling you how their baby slept through the night at just 4 weeks old as if it’s some magical parenting skill that they have or even magical milk, when of course they don’t rather possess either. It’s quite simply that some babies despite their basic needs differ from one another – even twins I might add!

The first twins continued to feed and wake up throughout the night for the first year so there was a 50/50 chance that the second set were going to do the same.  During this time we realised we must do something to squeeze in every possible second of sleep thus ditching the cots we made a nest for the whole family.  Who needs proper beds anyway right? What’s the point of having cots when your babies never spend any time in them?

So, mattresses a plenty, no danger of lack of space and squashing one another or rolling off regular bed with a thud on to the floor everyone is snuggled up together like a family of nesting birds.  This definitely helped everyone maximise on sleep but those Twins soon become conditioned into co-sleeping and yes I’m all for the bonding and security and other benefits it provides the child but we parents still have to get to grips with the fact that our bed will not be just “ours” for a long time to come and that’s pretty rough.

Eventually the transition to their own single beds were made but every night would be the same with them waking and thus end up sharing with them in their beds or ours.  Conditioning from those days of necessary co-sleeping.

Yet, if we sleep with them from the start we at least get a full night’s sleep albeit disrupted through wrigglyness and child magnetism unless of course we are with the sick bug which then gives us lack of sleep for a couple of weeks on a different level whilst the bug works its way around a family of 6!

The least thing you would think those little rascals would do is get up in the morning and take themselves off to the living room and play without the need to wake us up as well? Or dare I say it, plonk themselves in front of the TV quietly giving us just 20 mins of gently waking up rather than being launched into their world of fun and play or worse frustrations, fights and tantrums!

They started this morning by playing in their cardboard playhouse, full blown role playing fun.  I know this is all good stuff and preferable to the twin bickering that can exist and play is after all what children are born to do BUT what I question is at what point do we swap this leaping out of bed malarky to embrace the living for struggling to wake up needing a bit of time to gently break into the day and at least one cup of tea or coffee? Oh yes, the day the sleep deprivation sets in when you become parents of twins!

Another day, another set of stupid twin questions! I don’t mind to be honest but sometimes I think maybe the children feel a little uncertain about the attention, particularly our youngest. Our eldest are fraternal boy and girl aged almost 10 so often people don’t even realise they are twins immediately but our youngest are identical twin girls currently aged 4 and they are very similar to those outside of our family and friends circle and even then friends can confuse them!

Today the first lot of interest came from the man at the cash till in a shop whilst paying for our goods.  He wanted to know if they did everything at the same time. Do they get sick at the same time? Do they laugh at the same time? Now, I could have turned on my heels at the mere lack of rationale behind these questions but I realise that the subject of Twins really does still interest people to the point that all logic goes out of the window prior to the questions. So, I stayed and of course I said No and he went on to explain that he had heard stories of Twins being brought up separately yet when they discovered they had a twin and analysed their lives they found that they were living very similar lives.  I’ve heard these stories too and I am sure there is much truth in them but I am also sure that if you look close enough there will always be difference; after all twins are individuals as well as being twins.  They are still affected separately by external influences which can mean many things.

I politely explained that whilst my girls are indeed identical they are also very different and they do not always do everything at the same time and sometimes they do go off in separate directions in many areas of their lives. He complemented the girls calling them “little angels” and made a fuss.   All was fine with this, no harm done.

But then waiting for us at the end of the counter, another shop worker had joined us and looked at both my girls scrutinising them both claiming that she could definitely tell them apart.  I humoured her once again and said well one is slightly bigger than the other and she said NO quite adamantly that there was something very different about their faces.  I think to myself “OK, cool., now just bog off!” The girls are now looking at me wondering what the hell the fuss is all about and my husband feels it’s turning into some kind of freak show.

We leave the shop……

http://twinstips.com/having-twins/

“Is one good and one bad?” This question I have heard countless times in relation to just about everything concerning Twins.  It could be asked in relation to sleeping and feeding habits when they are just babies or in relation to temperament as they get older.  It’s as if we expect there to be some kind of yin and yang going on in the Twin world.  I don’t know about your Twins but mine definitely switch sides and equally remain on the same side of the force meaning they both qualify for both good twin/bad twin labels.

However, humouring the whole good twin bad twin concept, today we had Cheating Twin and Non Cheating Twin during a game of Pop To The Shops. Cheating Twin has worked out that if she throws a six she gets another turn thus increasing her odds of winning the game.  This resulted in a strategic placing of the dice opposed to a throwing of the dice. Funniest of all though is she isn’t aware that we are on to her!

http://twinstips.com/parenting-twins/twins-development-and-play/twins-age-2-4/

Given the choice how do your twins shop?  I ask this question because there appears to be so much debate over whether twins should dress the same or differently or should they always have two of everything.

Our identical twin girls aged 4 have always been encouraged to be individuals by buying them different clothing, toys, books and other stuff right from the start.  Sometimes they have the same outfits in different colours and likewise with toys they may both have Barbie dolls but the Barbies will be varied – you get the idea.  Equally, they have never been forced to be different and are able to select choices for themselves and should that choice be the same then the same is what they end up.

Today, the girls both fell in love with YooHoo Bush Baby Friends and the same one so that is how they spent their vouchers.  They also bought a Lego Friends set each but this time it differed.

It highlighted that sometimes no matter what route you take with the whole “individuality” debate your twins will be both individual and identical twins all at the same time.   Ultimately, if my girls are happy then I am happy.

http://twinstips.com/parenting-twins/twins-individuality/

Was very impressed when I saw this lady at 40 weeks pregnant with twins. At 39 weeks plus 4 I was barely moving, couldn’t sleep, walk, or eat I was so full up and I was slim and trim and fit pre-pregnancy! My second set at 35 weeks plus 2 was just has difficult despite them being much smaller. Love this video! Had to share!

We are home-educating our twins and today, my four year old identical twin girls asked to do “their maths” using a particular website on the internet.  Normally, when this particular activity is being utilised, I would allocate them each a turn offering them my individual attention but often the other twin still likes to watch while one is actively participating.  This scenario means that they both end up involved in the activity which is great but I have noticed that when this happens one twin always takes the driving seat.

Today, Twin 2 who has recently seemed the twin more content to take a quietly confident position decided to over rule her sister and become the more vocal confident twin answering all the questions first.  Interestingly, it wasn’t at all competitive and Twin 1 was quite happy to be the quiet confident one instead.  I am noticing more and more how the dynamics of their relationship can change in an instant.

I came across this from the trusted National Geographic – thought it was worth sharing.

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2012/01/twins/schoeller-photography#/1

I seem to be constantly sorting out Twins Kerfuffles. I’ll call them Twinbo’s 1, 2, 3 & 4 because I have two sets.  Note most kerfuffles are between the youngest two (Twinbo’s 3 & 4)

First Kerfuffle of the day  - Toy Cars

Identical Twin Girls wanted to play with toy cars on toy mat but Twinbo 4′s toy car was missing.  Apart from being rudely awoken to the sound of screaming which doesn’t set you off on a happy path for the morning I am now searching through the chaos of stuff to find Hot Rod Red Car with Yellow Stripe.  I have barely opened my eyes nor have I had a cup of tea.  It is no wonder I can’t put my hands on this car when nobody puts their toys back into their places when they have finished! It is only me who puts things back in the right places.  First moan over.

Second Kerfuffle of the day – Tights

Screams over pink flowered tights.  This time it’s Twinbo 3.  She wants to wear the pink flowered tights that Twinbo 4 has already put on all by herself.  I try to persuade her otherwise with a selection of other lovely tights, that doesn’t work.  I see if Twinbo 4 fancies swapping but NO she runs away.  More screams, more tantrums, more frustrations.  The thing is there is only one pair of this particular colour tight so there is little I can do but to try and work some sort of compromise or let upset 4 year old calm down.  She chooses to run into the living room pulling Twinbo 4′s hair on the way and disrupt her older brother (Twinbo 2) instead.  This leads to me separating her from everyone currently in the house to calm down.  Eventually she decides to say sorry to her siblings and settles on another pair of tights.  Deep breaths and I return to unpacking the grocery shopping that has just arrived and they head off to the trampoline.

Third Kerfuffle of the day – Bratz Doll

Blasted Bratz Dolls.  I spend more time dressing and undressing these dolls than I do myself! Twinbo 3 wanted a hair piece fixing to one of her Bratz Dolls.  OK, no problem, bring it to Mummy.  Thing is the hairpiece is elasticated and as with lots of these dolls things aren’t always easy to fix on and when they do fix on they don’t always stay on.  More frustration from Twinbo 3 resulting in throwing doll down in tantrum.  This of course is not her fault nor mine! Eventually and calmly we get Jade on the Mic sorted.  Issue over.

Fourth Kerfuffle of the day – Reading Eggs Tantrums

The girls both wanted to use the website Reading Eggs which is fine because they have use of a computer each however whilst sitting next to one another they soon begin to compete.  It’s ok at first but eventually Twinbo 4 wants to be where Twinbo 3 is and starts to get increasingly more frustrated.  I’m just clearing away the lunch stuff behind them and before I have time to intervene Twinbo 4 has pinched Twinbo 3 because Twinbo 3 won’t be quiet and Twinbo 4 retaliates with a tug of the hair.  Here we go again.  Deep breaths. Sit in between both of them and juggle assisting them both to keep the peace.  All is well eventually.  Fun had, reading done.

Fifth Kerfuffle – Dinosaur Drawings

They both want to draw dinosaurs and princesses.  You see the thing with my girls is that they actually want to be together and do everything together but by doing so they are subjected to the usual working out friendships at such an early age type scenario.  Once again they start off nicely sat together with paper and a huge box of pencils for sharing but for whatever reason Twinbo 4 decides to lean over and scribble on Twinbo 3′s board.  This results in Twinbo 3 shrieking and yelling and we are back in tantrum land.  I can’t even remember how I diffused this situation but I did.

Sixth Kerfuffle – Spilled Drink

Twinbo 3 asks for a drink so I get her a drink and she heads for the chair to sit and drink.  At the same time Twinbo 4 comes flying into the room and knocks into Twinbo 3 who then spills some of her drink on her t-shirt and on to the floor.  More shrieking and feeling cross on Twinbo 3′s part.  So we put the drink down and she runs off to the bedroom screaming I need a new t-shirt, I need a new t-shirt.  So off I go to get a new t-shirt.  New t-shirt on, drink mopped up and the girls decide they are going back outside for a bounce on the trampoline.

Seventh Kerfuffle – Eldest Twins Off Out Again

The eldest twins have been socialising today and the youngest two decided that the second round of this was just simply too much and damn right unfair.  They both decided to aggravate and annoy their elder brother and sister and generally cause chaos prior to them leaving the house. Twinbo 4 took  it the worst and took to hitting the Air Swimmer and despite being told and told again she ignored us and it resulted in Daddy telling her off and removing her from the situation to which she responded with plenty crying and wailing.  So I step in again and tell her that we would have our own outing to look forward to in a day or so when we go to the indoor play area.  Distraction tactics again.  They are still necessary on our 4 year old’s but boy do they wear me out and they don’t always work so easily.

Eight Kerfuffle – Bed Time

This is just a good ole regular slot in our household and it’s largely due to an imperfect arrangement we have at the moment.  Until we can change it, this is how it goes.  Me “it’s sleep time now”.  Bearing in mind we have already had mad half an hour followed by bath and stories.  The response to this will be “that’s not enough stories” or simply both little ones up and jumping on the bed.  How do you cope with this? What discipline can you put in place aside of restraining them and I’m not about to start pinning the little rascals down!

Delaying tactics are in play on their part so we normally have to separate them at this stage and Daddy takes one and I take the other.  Note: We had none of this nonsense with our eldest twins.  So Twinbo 3 gets in to bed and Daddy sits with her while she drops off.  Meanwhile, Twinbo 4 is next to me in the bed and it goes like this. “I need my pyjamas on”(bearing in mind she didn’t want them on before) so I get up and help her with PJ’s.  Back into bed. “I didn’t do a wee”. Back up take her to the toilet. Back to bed “I need some water”. I get up and give her a drink of water”.  Finally, she settles down.  Now, if I did not do this (which I have tried not to on occasions and put my foot down because I see the delaying tactics she is using to avoid sleep) we end up with yelling and shouting and other children disrupted.  I realise that she is avoiding sleep and recognise that many young children get fears around this time especially with their imaginations that include monsters and aliens and much more, so to keep the peace I keep calm and do the ritual and wait for the wriggling to stop as she eventually drops off to sleep.   For me it is frustrating because she isn’t the only child in the house and this is at the end of a very long day.  Sorry, Super Nanny sure I should be much firmer but I’ll do it my way!

Our identical twin girls are 4 and are learning to read.  They have always enjoyed books and we read to them daily but learning to read has happened purely out of their desire to play on the computer.  Recently, they have both become little computer zombies which I’m not too enthralled about but we are in the middle of British Winter Time and home-educators so it is fairly normal practice to use the computers during this time.

We have a subscription to http://readingeggs.co.uk which is a fun website designed to help children to learn to read and the girls really like to use it.  It’s something they are doing more and more independently which is great news for me ans it gives me time to prepare dinner or get on with something else.

I am keen to watch this particular skill develop not only because it opens up a whole new world for them but also from an identical twin development perspective.  To date, their developmental milestones have all happened at similar times.  No, there haven’t been any spooky incidents whereby teeth have miraculously come through on the very same day and no they didn’t take their first steps at exactly the same time but they are pretty much on par with everything they do.  I wonder will this next learning stage be the same? Will they go neck and neck or will one of them develop a love for reading and the other won’t? It is very much watch this space.

I know from my eldest twins (although fraternal) that in terms of reading they couldn’t be more far apart with one having their head in a book constantly and a reading age well above his own age and the other being Dyslexic thus finding reading a far more frustrating process.

This time round it is different, the girls are very much individuals but they are identical twins so I am interested to see how this goes and how they will manage their already evident competitiveness.