Our Story
Our Story
We are a family of 6. My husband and I have four children, one son and three daughters – two sets of twins to be precise. Our eldest twins are 7 and our youngest twins are 2. Bringing up four children under the pressures of life today is a tough job especially during those early years. There is rarely a quiet moment and every minute of the day is packed solid.
We weren’t expecting to get another set of twins and it has meant that we have had to make some adjustments to cope. My husband and I work for ourselves and we mainly work from home, a situation not always conducive to getting much work done but it has given us a certain amount of flexibility where necessary to manage the practicalities of having another set of twins plus the older children.
These past two years has put an enormous strain on our finances and in many ways on our relationship. However, we are still here and fundamentally happy. Our children are all healthy and we realise that what we have is really priceless and we wouldn’t swap it.
I have to say that our older twins have been fabulous since the arrival of their sisters. They are of the opinion that everything comes in two’s in our house. Our son is a little put out that he doesn’t have a brother and has asked if we could get two brothers for him. This is not a route we are about to attempt! We have rarely suffered from the jealously or resentment we thought we might which is extraordinary considering the patience the older kids have had to find since the arrival of the baby twins. We have relied upon the older twins to entertain the younger ones on many occasions whilst the dinner is made or similar chore carried out.
Our children keep a basic 12 or 13 hour day beginning at around 7am which is not too early I might add. All the children are bathed the night before so it’s just a matter of dressing, teeth cleaning, hair brushing and breakfast. Easier said than done! I put their school uniforms out ready for them and after a few requests they start to get dressed. Our Son who doesn’t like to go to school begins to moan about the day and what’s wrong with him that particular day. I joke here but in actual fact he is a constant source of worry. There is nothing worse than having a child unhappy at school and the problem is being addressed. At the same time the little ones are having their morning milk and generally enjoying the start of the day racing around, using their potties, brushing their teeth and playing in between. Depending on the plan for the day for the younger twins will determine whether they are dressed before breakfast or after.
The 7 year olds are now dressed and downstairs ready for breakfast and the little ones join them. At this point my husband who is already dressed and ready takes over. I am upstairs having a quick tidy up of beds and picking up dirty washing and getting washed and dressed ready for the day ahead.
I aim to be downstairs by 8am to finalise the details such as packed lunch, tuck money school bags which already have their reading books and homework in from the night before, water bottles, dinner money and any school administration.
Fortunately, because of our situation, I don’t have to drag the little ones on the school run with me which is brilliant because time is so short in the mornings anyway. So by 8.30am I leave the house with the 7 year olds and jump into the MPV and drive them to school. We would walk if we could but it’s too far. The classroom door is open at 8.45am or thereabouts where I deposit my two children one happy, one miserable. After a quick chat with a friend or two who also have their own busy families to contend with and its back home to deal with the other two.
By the time I get back my husband is clearing the breakfast things away; I grab a bite of breakfast and a cup of tea and start to entertain the girls.
A day indoors is a juggling day. We paint, we draw, we play with our toys, we have a moan, we fight for attention, we don’t want to share, we make up, we put the washing on, we hang the washing out, we have snacks, we have drinks, we watch TV, we have a nap, we have lunch, we play a bit more plus I have some actual work to do which I try and fit in whilst the girls are sleeping.
Some days, my husband will take the girls out for a few hours so I can actually have a few hours of productive work. My husband loves the outdoors and is very good with taking them to open spaces and letting them run around whilst chasing them.
Other days involve a visit to a friend’s house or perhaps a visit from friends to our house which is always nice. It’s good for the younger children to have friends of their own age to play with and we do try and encourage this. On occasions we go to the indoor soft play centres but with twins of such a young age it can be exhausting. Very difficult to be in two places at one time!
Normally once a week, sometimes twice the girls spend the day with their nanny. They get spoiled and they get undivided attention and both my husband and I get to do some uninterrupted work. These are the most productive days for us.
My mum and I take the girls swimming once a week which they absolutely love but once again not something you can do single handed if you have twins. There has to be one adult per child.
Of course they get the usual exposure to the shops but to be perfectly honest none of our children are happy shoppers so we keep any shopping trips short so they are enjoyable rather than stressful. Our main grocery shop is made by me via the internet and any other bits during the week can be a short adventure for the girls
Wherever we are and whatever we are doing stops at 230pm as this is the time we need to get our shoes and coats on and leave the house for the school run. The children don’t finish until 315pm but we have to leave in plenty of time to park the car and make the walk from the car to the school. The girls are at the age where they don’t really want to be in their buggy and want to walk everywhere. So, the reins go on and we slowly make the walk to the school from the car. The bigger children come flying out of their classroom with bags, lunchboxes and more letters and its back to the car to load them all in to drive back home.
We have drama club, swimming and art classes during the week so invariably no sooner are the big kids in from school they are changed and back out again. We do share runs with friends which helps from time to time.
It’s also time to prepare the evening meal. Preparation normally starts at around 4pm and sometimes some of it has been done during the day. We aim to sit down and eat by 530pm activities permitting. We try and sit down as a family every day. Dinner is normally over by 6pm but the tidying away still needs to be done. Clearing the table and cleaning the area, loading the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen plus tidying the toys and vacuuming the floors is all necessary at the end of the day.
By 630pm it’s upstairs for bath and bedtime routine. My husband normally baths the little ones whilst my daughter reads to me, then we test her spellings. She is easily distracted so goes first when the girls are being amused. Once she is finished she jumps in with the girls which they all love. Although it won’t be too much longer before she has outgrown this habit I suspect. In the meantime, my son is reading to me out loud and I am putting more washing away and normally one of the little ones is out ready for drying and dressing. Luckily enough, our son is a very good reader and doesn’t require as much assistance so can happily read away and just stop and ask me when he doesn’t understand something. By the time he is through with the reading and the spelling the other 2 year old is out for drying and dressing. Our eldest daughter will finish in the bath and our son will jump in. Thats how its supposed to work anyway – it often doesn’t go to plan!
Once all of the children are bathed and dressed in their pyjamas, the younger ones have a beaker of milk and settle down for a story or three. The older ones choose to play or watch a DVD or read in their beds anything as long as its quiet time.
We aim to have the younger ones to sleep by 730pm and the older ones by 8pm but we invariably run over time. That’s just the way it is.
At last the kids are all tucked away in bed, we are tired and just want to relax but alas our situation doesn’t afford us that luxury at present. We both go back to work for a few hours each…….and the next day is here before you know it.
Monday through Friday keeps a relentless pace something which we as a family would love to change. We are working on it. Saturday and Sunday we don’t bother with work because it just doesn’t happen productively enough to warrant trying although we may get a couple of hours work done in the evening.
Our weekends consist of family days to visit other family members or we have them to visit us – more often than not we have the space to accommodate everyone and it’s easier for everyone else to travel than us! We do try to go out as a complete family to the park and to the woods and such other similar places but admittedly we have struggled over the last two years to find places whereby we can manage everyone’s needs. As the girls get older and a little more robust we know that things will get easier.
Parks without climbing apparatus have always been a safe bet because you can keep the little ones safe whilst playing with the bigger children. Walking in the woods is a good one as everyone can walk freely and play at their own pace.
At times either my husband or I will take the bigger kids out alone either to the cinema, bowling, or on their bikes so they get some undivided attention. The grandparents help out too by taking them on special trips. From time to time we get the grandparents to have the younger twins and my husband and I take the older kids for a day out just us four.
We allow the bigger children to stay up later during the weekends and have a family DVD or play a board game whilst eating chocolate and popcorn and other such treats. All of these things have been invaluable in maintaining the happiness of the older children during the past two difficult years with the new twins.
Suffice to say, my husband and I have not had much time together as a couple. Yes we spend a lot of time together because of our work set up but it’s not relaxing time. This is just as important an issue as well but frankly it’s not the priority in our family and we realise and understand this even if we don’t like it too much. All is not bleak, because we have been fortunate enough that my parents will happily baby sit all four kids. They move into our house for the weekend and we have had the weekend off. We have stayed in some fantastic little boutique hotels, enjoyed a nice meal and explored some new places. We have managed this on maybe four occasions over the past couple of years and have thoroughly enjoyed our free time. They would happily do it more often if we asked them to but financially it doesn’t equate for us right now. We try to grab downtime for a couple of hours over the weekend normally with a glass of wine and a DVD or catch up on some documentaries or comedies on TV and on occasions we have even made it to the cinema!
