Twins At School
There seems to be much deliberation about whether or not to separate twins from starting preschool through to the later stages of their education. Research suggests that some teaching staff feel that separation is beneficial for individual development while others feel that twins should be kept together because it’s natural to them. Schools that have separated twins are likely to do so to deal with issues such as dominance or reliance of one twin on another. Schools who keep twins together are likely to do so because there are no reasons for separation plus it’s the parent’s wishes.
Parents of Fraternal twins may not have to think too hard about this dilemma as they are unlikely to face the same issues as Parents of Identical Twins. First off, fraternal twins don’t necessarily look anything like one another so the frustrations of telling them apart are immediately eliminated. Boy/Girl Fraternal Twins are likely to have different interests and different friends thus resolving any potential friendship making problems.
“Our Girl/Boy Fraternal Twins started preschool/nursery at 3 years and I never gave separation a thought. It just wasn’t on the agenda. Why would it be? They had spent the last three years together doing everything together why would we add any extra challenge to the milestone of beginning school. By the time they were ready to start infant school it still wasn’t on the agenda, I simply assumed they would be placed in the same class and they were. They have been in the same class for three school years now and they have their own friends as well as a joint group of friends. At times they have shared a desk and at times they have been separated. They have been chosen to work within the same group of children as well as working in completely separate groups. They receive both separate party invitations and joint party invitations. Either way works for us. Their personalities and interests are different and their abilities in class are different. They are like chalk and cheese and having these different personality traits and friendships makes for a fairly easy life. It doesn’t take away the special bond that they have and they play and argue just like regular siblings! Ultimately, they are still twin brother and sister and they do miss one another when they are apart.
We have been asked by the school before each new school year begins if we want to separate the twins or keep them together and we have agreed with the teachers that there are no issues for separation and to take the easy option for us as parents. It makes sense logistically for them to share the same classroom, we have one teacher every year to liaise with opposed to two and as I occasionally help in their classroom or on school trips they both benefit.
We have yet to experience schooling with identical twins as our girls are just two. When we do, I will report any issues or hurdles and maybe we will be lucky again and have twins that are both happy to be twins spending time together and apart pursuing their own interests.”
The decision should be made after careful observation; spend time watching how they interact with other children. Do they play only together? Do they play separately at times? Do they play separately with different children? How much do they rely upon one another? If your twins easily separate for play alone and with other children then it is likely either option of keeping them in the same classroom or being separated will work.
If your twins take comfort from knowing their twin is close by or they only play with each other then the decision for keeping them together or separating may be more difficult. You may wish to keep them together whilst they need the support of one another at least until they are a little bit older and separation wouldn’t be so traumatic for them. Or you may wish to separate them from the beginning so they become more independent and confident without relying on their twin.
