A Night with A Large Family

Sleeping Arrangements with Twins Aged 7 and Twins Aged 2

At Aged 5 the identical twin girls arrived and the older twins continued to share a bedroom.  It was a particularly difficult time juggling the needs of the new babies and of course the needs of the 5 year olds.  There were many times when the older twins had to wait to be put to bed because of the baby twins and sometimes just as we were in the middle of a bed time story one of the girls would wake up.  With this in mind, we were happy to keep the bigger twins sharing a bedroom because they were company and comfort for one another whilst we were going through this difficult period.

It was because of the constant juggling of four children’s needs and the fact that my husband was spending a lot of time away working we began to play what we call “Musical Beds”.  Sometimes the older children would get up in the middle of the night and get in with us.  At first I was concerned for their sleep and told them they would get a better sleep if they stayed in their own beds but I think the bigger children became oblivious to it and preferred the comfort and security of being in the same room as us.

By the time the babies had reached 16 months my husband was no longer working away and we made sure that we started our evenings sleep in our own bed.  We were all in our own beds.  By the morning, my husband and I would be in with the girls and the big kids would be in our bed!  The cheek of it!  Still, sleep has always been our priority.

Our Fraternal Twins reached aged 7 and our daughter decided she wanted her own room much to the upset of her sensitive twin brother.  The day we separated their bedrooms was a little sad even though we’ve had a long battle with their sleeping patterns.  The twins had reached a milestone and one never to be returned to.  For me it felt like the end of an Era.  I spent the first few nights perched on the end of my son’s bed whilst he drifted off to sleep.   After about a week the new arrangement was clearly working.  They have adjoining rooms separated by an en suite bathroom to both rooms which I think helps.

So, where are we now? Currently, our daughter is sleeping in her own bed and apart from the occasional sleep walk she is not disturbing anyone else.  Our son on the other hand is going to sleep without any problem but is often still waking in the early hours of the morning and jumping into bed with whoever has the space!  We have explained to him that if Monsters ate small boys we would read about it in the news and as we don’t hear about it we can safely assume that we have no Monsters in our house!

My husband and I still start the evening’s sleep together in our own bed.  Our identical girls have just turned 2 and are still waking in the middle of the night but are getting better.  One of them normally wakes to use the toilet or potty as she is dry both through the day and night and the other is disturbed by her itchy ezcema.  They both settle back down easily if either myself or my husband is with them.  Often one or the other just wakes up and walks in to our room to get into our bed.  When one little one gets in, one adult gets out and sleeps in with the other toddler twin.  They are just seeking comfort.

Co-sleeping has worked for our family because it has provided us with more sleep than we would get otherwise.  We have had a slightly unique situation in as much as we have always had two babies at any one time and we have had to make sleep our priority.  In doing so, sleeping habits have been formed but as our daughter has shown, they outgrow these naturally when they are ready to cope with the separation.

Conclusions

Having had a set of fraternal twins and a set of identical twins and experiencing both similar and different sleeping issues I have given much thought as to why all of our children still wake through the night seeking comfort.  It is my opinion that twins are conditioned from the womb to co-sleep and if you take this natural comfort away from them then they are likely to be unsettled until such an age they are able to cope without it.  There are tried and tested methods that may or may not work for you it just depends on your ability to try them.

In contradiction, I have heard stories from mothers who have separated their twins from the start, by this I mean in completely separate rooms and they have been successful with their sleep but often after a long hard battle and being in the position in the first place to do so.

I have also heard stories from twin mums whose twins do not disturb one another.  So once again the emphasis has to be on doing whatever works for your twins and the other members of your family.